Talk to your teen about healthy relationships, consent and boundaries. Be sure to cover the following topics and try to be open and honest with any questions your child may have about dating relationships or sexual development.

Explain that respect means to honor or value someone or something. A healthy dating partner should show respect for your physical, emotional and digital boundaries.

Emotional Boundaries are your limits about the topics that you feel comfortable talking about, or how much personal information you feel comfortable sharing with your partner. Emotional boundaries help define the lines of which topics of conversation are appropriate and inappropriate in regards to feelings, privacy, and other personal topics.

Physical boundaries include your personal limits of comfort with physical touch with your partner. Choosing what feels safe and comfortable for you should be based on what you are ready to do with your partner. Some examples include holding hands, hugging, kissing, or other sexual acts. In a healthy relationship there should be open communication so that both partners know how far the other wants to go.

Digital boundaries define the line between healthy and unhealthy once a relationship goes online. What are the rules for texting/social media, etc? What should your digital relationship look like? For example, consider what you might be comfortable with when interacting with your partner online. Is it okay to post your relationship status? Tag your partner in a photo? Is it okay to follow each other’s friends? Is it okay to look at/use each other’s devices?

Social considerations

• Don’t send a pic if you’re not comfortable – You have a right to say no even if pressured.
• Social media is social and social ≠ private. Everything you post is public and permanent.
• Social risks – damaged reputations with friends, classmates, parents, teachers, etc.

Legal Issues

• Sending or receiving sexually explicit pictures of a person under age 18 is dissemination of child porn, even when the pictures are of yourself. It is illegal to take them, share them, or possess them. Pictures and messages are always traceable.

Consent is when both people say yes to engaging in physical touch or a sexual act. You decide what is comfortable for you and a healthy partner will respect your boundaries.  Participation in sexual/romantic activity should be based on mutual caring and respect, never pressure. Do not try to talk your partner into having sex or anything else they aren’t ready for. Your partner should respect your boundaries in the same way.

• Ask questions like “Do you want to?”, “Do you like this?”, “Do you want to stop?”
• Listen to the answer. Did you hear a clear and unmistakable “Yes, I want to”?
• Remember a person has the right to change their mind at any time.
• Silence is not consent. If the person you are with doesn’t give a clear “yes” then you do not have consent. They may be afraid to say no, or not know how to say no.

• If a person is underage, they cannot legally consent, even if the person says “yes”. In Massachusetts, a person must be 14 years old to consent to sexual touching (without penetration) and must be 16 years old to consent to penetration of any kind.
• When people are drunk or high, they may not be able to give consent. If someone has sex with a person who is passed out, or too intoxicated to know what is happening – it is rape.

Discuss issues of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections with your teen. Additionally, start conversation about the emotional implications of a sexual relationship.